The Unfortunate Traveller - the perils and disappointments of international travel
By Joanne Lane Ever travelled across the world and missed an age old tradition or festival by a day? Have you stood in a crowded airport, with a busted suitcase and no money, crying with exhaustion desperate to get the next flight home? Ever sat in a bus with your heart in your mouth while the driver sipped whiskey and tried to negotiate hairpin bends? This is an unfortunate tale of someone who has planned badly, travelled badly, lived to tell a good tale and wants to do it all again - better. I don't know if it's good or bad luck, karma or whatever you want to call it, but it was scary, death defying and gob smackingly redoable. When border disputes between India and Pakistan flared in Kashmir in 1999 I was headed there on a plane wondering if I'd be shot down. During the Philippines hostage crisis of May 2000 a terrorist was discovered in Baguio and all non residents had to be identified whenever they returned to hotels. Guess who had just arrived? I've braved overnight bus rides with drunken, sleepy and plain bad drivers on buses with faulty brakes, no suspension and men who liked pinching my bottom. On the way to Nepal I flew past Mt Everest or I think I did - it was shrouded in mist. I missed the biggest annual Tibetan festival in Dharamsala, India by 12 hours. I arrived in Pushkar, Rajasthan just shy of the annual camel fair. I missed the Dalai Lama's birthday celebrations in Ladakh by an hour and came minutes late for a religious horse festival in Bhutan. My travel plans for summer 2000 in England went awry during the fuel crisis and I spent most of the holiday babysitting for friends who couldn't get their kids to school. You'd think a travel writer could plan it better but really once you're on the road the journey and frustrations really becomes part of the experience as the old adage goes. And besides there's still so much to do and risk. I've seen the Taj Mahal glowing in the sunset but I haven't seen Macchu Picchu at dawn. I've sipped coffee on the Champs Elysses but I've never drunk vodka in Russia. I've hiked the Tibetan plateau by timeless peaks but I'm yet to add my sweat to the Andes. I've done a Lawrence of Arabia on a camel and ridden at an Australian rodeo, but I've never seen the lions of Africa. I've done the Punjabi Bhangara dance but I haven't danced the flamenco in Argentina. I've eaten a Thai curry with streaming eyes but I've never eaten a poisonous snake. I accidentally ate the Prince of Bhutan's fruit platter and a dish with a name that translated as "snot" but I'm still to try Tibetan yak and a Spanish empanada. I've survived an earthquake, floods and a snowstorm but I've never seen a desert storm. I've braved leeches trekking in Nepal, stroked a snake and stared down a crocodile but I'd like to meet an anaconda and pirranha.
I've ridden a calesa in old Spanish Filipino towns but I've never seen a bullfight. I've drunk chang in Kashmir and ara in Bhutan but I've never been to the German beer festival. I've washed in the Ganges but I'm yet to see the Nile or Amazon. I've visited monasteries and turned prayer wheels with monks, but I've never been to Mecca. I got to Timbuktu but not on a camel. I can haggle or bargain my way in and out of any deal but I've still been ripped off. I've missed buses and trains, slept badly on stone floors but I'd do it all again. I'm a writer, a poet and I can capture life in one shot or a few words. A plane ticket is all I need. BOOK HERE |
